Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, Monica, and Joey gather on the lounges at Central Perk, coffee mugs in hand, slipping into one of their classic conversations about everything and nothing. To most people, Central Perk is simply a café, somewhere to grab a coffee, catch up with a friend or go on a date. But for these notorious “Friends”, Central Perk was more than just a café. It became a third place to pause the mundane for a couple of hours.

The term “third place” was coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg. It describes a public place that regularly hosts voluntary and informal gatherings. These are places for individuals to connect outside of their home and work lives, and the gatherings are often happily anticipated by those who participate.

These spaces can range from cafés, libraries and gyms to youth recreation centres and business lounges. Oldenburg describes them as the centre of public life and claims that they are essential to maintaining local democracy and community vitality.

Dr Joanne Dolley is a human geographer whose research focuses on neighbourhood public spaces and third places. She says that these social hubs help build communities and increase resilience during times of hardship.

“Third places are something which help people to get to know people in their neighbourhood and start to feel a part of the community,” she tells upstart.

“Some of the benefits are that there are real problems with the loneliness epidemic, and third places can help build resilient neighbourhoods.”

All around Melbourne people of all ages frequently gather in these spaces for trivia nights, league bowling and open-mic nights. These are just some of the many ways to connect with others outside of our homes and workplaces.

Tuesday: Trivia night at the Kilburn

Tuesday nights at the Kilburn in Hawthorn consist of trivia, board games, flowing drinks. Hosted by Midweek Events, keen trivia players gather with their teams and a spread of food and drinks to kick off the night. When seven o’clock rolls around, MC Alex, microphone in hand, begins reading out the questions.

Twenty-one-year-old nursing and psychology student Emily Becker has been participating in Tuesday night trivia for about a year now. She and her partner are part of the league-winning team Agatha Quiztie. What started as pre-drinks before a night out soon became a weekly ritual.

“We’d sometimes catch the tail end of trivia and we were like, ‘Oh, we should do that one week,’” she tells upstart.

“Then we started going, ‘we just want to do trivia,’ and trivia became the main event.”

The busy student says the weekly outing has become an important break from university life and gives her something to look forward to.

“It is nice knowing there’s something every week that I get to be social and catch up with friends,” she says.

“We’ve also made friends with other regular groups that come here, it’s a bit of a rivalry, but once trivia ends, we’re all friends again.”

Becker says the social aspect is what keeps her returning.

“Missing it feels like I missed an important part of my week.”

Some of the trivia whiz’s favourite memories come from the group’s competitive spirit, particularly when they won the Trivia League for the first time.

As the competition became more serious, the group even recruited parents to help answer “oldies questions” and music trivia they did not know.

For university students on budgets, Becker says the free weekly activity has very few barriers to entry.

“If you wanna have a drink, then that’s really the only cost,” she says.

While group chats help organise the weekly catch-ups, Becker believes the strongest sense of community still comes from physically showing up each week.

“I think digital spaces help with communication, but I don’t think they’ve really helped me feel a stronger sense of community,” she says.

Dolley agrees online interaction cannot fully replace face-to-face connection.

“If you aren’t actually physically meeting up, it’s not quite as strong a connection.”

Wednesday: Bowling League at the Greensborough Lanes

Lit by the glow of the neon “Oz Tenpin Greensborough Lanes” sign, 57-year-old Michael Brayley walks through the doors to his third place every Wednesday evening.

Brayley has competitively bowled since his teen years, so the weekly ritual naturally doubles as his passion.

Joined by his cousins and sons each week, the ritual started as an opportunity to see his family more outside of weddings and funerals.

“I said ‘let’s go bowling, because you can get a dinner, you can get some drinks and even get to do it as a sport’,” he tells upstart.

Because it falls in the middle of the week, Brayley says that the league night is a “nice breakup” of the school and work week for him and his boys to bond.

“It’s that male bonding and for me to be a positive role model,” he says.

“But also seeing different people here that can be positive role models to them too.”

From tournament victories to the passing of long-term bowlers and friends, there are many moments that have stuck with him from his bowling nights, but it’s the interaction between different age groups that he enjoys the most.

“It’s from 13 to 75, there’s not many sports or spaces where you can have all those ages in the same area connecting and playing against each other,” he says.

Though he is not impacted by any barriers now, Brayley says the costs are creeping up each year and could potentially cause some trouble.

“If the cost-of-living changes, this [bowling] will be the first to go,” he says.

Brayley describes the bowling alley as a “supportive environment”. He believes everyone should have a place that gets them out of the house, talking to people, and staying active.

Thursday: Weekly open mic and catchups at Platform 3095

Next to Eltham station is popular local pub, Platform 3095. Music from inside mixes with the chatter of locals catching up, while trains rumble past the station nearby.

A group of high school mates meet up every Thursday at this conveniently located pub and have been doing this for close to two years. The weekly tradition began as a way to stay connected after high school, unknowingly becoming their third place.

Nineteen-year-old Hamish Mackenzie works full time in scaffolding, he thinks that the weekly meetups help keep him in touch with his friends.

“[It] provides that constant connection that is often lost immediately after high school,” he tells upstart.

“We’re all in our own routines and focusing on our different futures, having this nice way to step back is refreshing for your brain.”

Most weeks the bar hosts an open mic session on Thursday. Mackenzie, who has played guitar for several years, occasionally performs a few songs himself.

Some weeks, one of the group brings along a friend, introducing new faces to the Thursday night ritual. If one of their teams is playing, they’ll often stay to watch footy alongside other locals, beers in hand and distractions briefly forgotten.

The pub provides a consistent connection with each other, without it, they all agreed they risked losing contact.

As rising costs, digital spaces and busy home lives continue to impact social connection, Dolley says accessible community spaces are becoming more important than ever.

“The more free and recurring activities people can attend in their local community, the more opportunities there are for people to build connections.”

Article: Ella Burns, Ariana Cosatovic, Jasper Davis, Rayan Rashid.

Cover Photo: Supplied by authors.