Over the course of the next eight weeks, upstart’s resident would-be meth cooks will be casting an eye over the final episodes of Breaking Bad. Rather than just cooking up another straightforward recap, they’ll give a blow-by-blow account of events while watching each 45-minute block – while trying to stay calm.
It goes without saying, but there are some major SPOILERS ahead. Tread lightly.
Liam Quinn: Paddy, we’re at the penultimate edition. After last week, I’m going to need a drink to get through this.
Paddy Naughtin: I’m absolutely through trying to guess where this show will go next. This week I think i’m just going to sit back and see where the ride takes me.
LQ: After months of talking, finally we see Saul’s guy – apparently, with Saul going to. He’ll always be my favourite lawyer
PN: And what do you know, the guy actually does sell vacuum cleaners.
Saul didn’t look to happy to be moving to Nebraska. What’s wrong with it? I’m sure it’s a lovely state.
LQ: It isn’t Paddy, it isn’t.
Wait, did the Nazi’s or Walt raid Marie’s house (guess we can’t call it Hank’s anymore.
PN: Well there’s your answer. The Nazi’s have been busy making sure they have covered their tracks. How sadistic is that look on Todd’s face right there? He’s proud to have killed that boy.
LQ: Poor Jesse, he’s like the boy trapped down a well.
PN: Except he’s been beaten to a pulp.
LQ: A slight, but important difference.
Even on his way to witness protection, Walt is still schemin’.
PN: Walt is running on revenge. Saul on the other hand is just trying to make it out alive.
LQ: Saul’s in full cockroach mode. Doing all he can to survive the upcoming apocalypse.
PN: “Stay, and face what’s coming.”
Wow, I didn’t expect Saul to say that.
LQ: Having Walt collapse into a cancerous cough at the moment he tries to bully Saul into doing his bidding was fantastic. Capped off by Saul’s, “it’s over”.
PN: You really begin to understand how frail Walt is under that harsh and brutal exterior.
LQ: He’s a mess, Paddy. In the past two seasons it’s sort of become easy to forget the cancer, in the face of his evil empire building facade.
PN: Poor Skyler. She really is in terrible trouble, but there’s nothing she can do about it.
LQ: That scene was – deliberately – eerily family to the scene when Walt found out about his cancer; the buzzing, distant stares, etc
Todd, you bastard.
The scariest thing about this is how calm Todd is. He really is the baby-faced killer.
LQ: Oh, he’s doing it for love. Talk about going to extremes.
PN: Who said romance was dead?
LQ: I’ve a feeling Skyler might be.
PN: That gentle reassuring touch on Skyler’s shoulder was terrifying.
Oh look, it’s Todd and Lydia’s first date.
She really loves the whole spy game doesnt she? No names, different tables, big black glasses.
LQ: This should be the real spin-off, Paddy.
PN: AMC presents ‘The Meth Couple’
LQ: But, on a more serious note, this is another striking throwback of sorts this episode. It’s giving me goosebumps.
PN: “92 per cent? That’s Heisenberg level.”
It seems like Jesse hasn’t lost any of cooking skills while he’s been locked up.
LQ: I guess that’s what having the fear of death for you and your loved ones does to you.
PN: Mr Lambert doesn’t have the same ring to it as Walter White.
LQ: I love Walt’s hasn’t bother putting the money in a duffel bag or anything; still rolling that barrel around
PN: Walt should be overjoyed. Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium is a terrific film
LQ: I’ve never got around to it. Deep down, Walt must love hearing how different he is than all those other criminals.
PN: I reckon. He thrives off knowing that he is the best.
LQ: Has to be some sadistic satisfaction in it for him.
PN: Somehow I don’t think Walt is thrilled with his new surroundings.
LQ: Of course he brought the hat…
PN: The shot from the behind him… I got chills.
LQ: Wait, is Walt scared to leave?
PN: He seems defeated, almost. It’s like he’s resigned to the fact that this is his new life now.
LQ: Again, the juxtaposition of Walt choosing to go back inside, while Jesse claws for freedom.
PN: The dialogue in this scene is just so bizarre. They’re talking like their two friendly colleagues, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
LQ: Surely this daring breakout attempt won’t end well for Jesse.
PN: If Justin Bieber has taught me anything it’s “never say never”.
LQ: Wow, Paddy…just, wow
PN: I’m just really want him to escape. Seeing him rotting in that cell is killing me.
LQ: But if he escapes, Nazi’s could be killing him.
PN: Jesse really is in quite the pickle.
…and you were right. The Nazi’s have caught up to him before he even managed to get out of the compound.
LQ: Oh, Paddy. I can’t watch this.
Don’t Todd, just…don’t.
PN: No. No. No.
I don’t like this, Liam. Not at all.
I’ve got nothing.
LQ: I don’t think I can type for a few minutes.
PN: That was horrific. I just… nup.
LQ: Jesse crying in the back of the car was heartbreaking.
Uh oh, Walt has hair now. We’re getting closer and closer to the Denny’s parking lot.
PN: A fair amount of time has passed since we last saw him. He is pulling off the lumberjack look, though,
Cancer treatment off YouTube videos – we live in a glorious age, Paddy.
PN: DIY chemo
LQ: 10k for two hours? Paddy, I’ll leave all the jokes to you on this one..
PN: Walt is craving to talk to someone. He’s genuinely depressed about his situation, and all that pent up rage inside of him appears to have disappeared.
LQ: I’m thinking this could be the part where Walt kills “the guy” and starts his roadtrip.
But, he’s an entirely defeated man at this point. It’s pathetic. He deserves it.
PN: The cancer is really starting to take it’s toll now. Walt’s lost so much weight his wedding ring slips right off his finger.
In the end, it’s the thought of his family that gets him past those frozen gates.
LQ: Bet Flynn dropped that Walt Jr name reaaaaaal quick.
PN: I know I sure would.
LQ: Just tell him the truth Walt.
This is like a confession.
PN: Flynn doesn’t want the money, and he hates that it’s cash that his dad seems to only care about.
LQ: Uh oh, Flynn’s blowing the cover here.
PN: I bet his been wanting to say these things for a while.
“Why won’t you just die?” That was harsh.
LQ: Is it really at this point?
PN: He’s done.
He’s accepted that there’s nothing else for him.
LQ: Ha, even when he’s in the middle of New Hampshire’s winter, Gretchen and Elliott are upstaging him again. This’ll surely anger him into going back.
PN: So this is the catalyst that gets him going.
LQ: He’s going to show them, Paddy.
PN: With the reports of blue meth still out there, I think Walt realises that Jesse is still cooking.
LQ: He realises everything he’s done, has been for nothing. No one remembers him, no one misses him.To lift a quote Paddy, “he has to go back.”
On that note Paddy, I’m on edge for next week. The finale. Can’t wait.
PN: Next week is going to be huge.
LQ: I’ll wear my best black fedora.
PN: Paddy out.
Liam Quinn is a third year Bachelor of Journalism student at La Trobe University, and upstart’s politics editor. You can follow him on Twitter at @Quinn_LP.
Paddy Naughtin is a third year Bachelor of Journalism student at La Trobe University, and upstart’s sport editor. You can follow him on Twitter at @PaddyNaughtin.
(Picture: Twitter – @AMC_BreakingBad)