Emailing Bad: Ozymandias

17 September 2013

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Over the course of the next eight weeks, upstart’s resident would-be meth cooks will be casting an eye over the final episodes of Breaking Bad. Rather than just cooking up another straightforward recap, they’ll give a blow-by-blow account of events while watching each 45-minute block – while trying to stay calm.

It goes without saying, but there are some major SPOILERS ahead. Tread lightly.

 

 

LQ: Alright Paddy. I’ve barely made it through these past seven days. There’s only three episodes left. Lets get going.”

PN: The cliffhanger at the end of last episode has been in the back of my mind all week. I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen!

LQ: I love this throwback. Reminder of simpler times, and all that. Walt rehearsing his lie walking up the hill is a nice touch.

Great ‘stache, too.

PN: It’s also very different to the flash forwards that we saw at the beginning of the series. Those showed a much darker time, while this one is still quite light. The relationship between Walt and Skyler is still very loving. It’s quite the contrast to where we know it is in the present day.

LQ: Spot on Paddy. I don’t know about you, but it’s insanely depressing at this point – knowing what comes of all this happy family time, driving out into the country, etc.

PN: Oh man, here we go. The gunshots have stopped, and Hank is lying wounded on the ground.

GOMEZ!!!

NOOO!

LQ: Well, I guess that puts to bed the questions about shooting accuracy last week. There’s no way this ends well for Hank; the moment Jack heard DEA, he was as good as dead. Walt’s pleading be damned.

PN: That was one hell of an icy glare that Hank shot at Walt just then.

LQ: Hank’d rather die at this point than have Walt save his life.

PN: $80 million. It’s strange to hear Walt say just how much money he’s got. Will that be enough for Hank’s life though?

LQ: “He made up his mind 10 minutes ago.”

Dean Norris, take a bow. That was incredible, Paddy. I’m shaking.

PN: RIP Hank Schrader. Valiant until the end.

 

 

LQ: He came close to recapturing moral superiority with that final farewell. Uh oh, the Nazi’s are going diggin’…

PN: I’m not trying to be funny here, but this has got to be the worst day of Walt’s life. Mind you, he’s brought it upon himself.

LQ: The symbolism of his family being tossed in the grave where his money used to be buried is pretty heavy. Oh, well at least they’re leaving him $11 million.

I think I like Jack. Shame about the, yanno, Nazi killer thing.

PN: Yeah, he’s an evil dude, but at least he’s a gentleman.

Todd’s the same.

LQ: That “sorry for your loss” comment was priceless. Oh no, Paddy. No, not Jesse. Not now. I can’t handle this.

We’re only 15 minutes minute in, f**k.

PN: This is all getting way too real. The tension is unbearable.

LQ: Cliche alert, but everything got turned way up to 11.

PN: Todd just saved Jesse’s life. Sort of.

He’s just so chill about torturing Jesse.

LQ: Walt. So cold. In Jesse’s last moments, he had to twist the knife even further. What a bastard.

PN: This is brutal from Walt. Telling Jesse about Jane’s death is just rubbing salt into his wounds, but about ten thousand times worse.

You know what? I think I hate Walt now.

LQ: Jane, Brock. Everything Jesse has loved (that we’ve seen in the show) Walt has used against him now.

I agree, Paddy. This is despicable.

PN: I think Walt hate’s himself a little bit as well. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror after that.

It’s incredible to think that the credits are still rolling at the bottom of the screen. This show really is something else.

LQ: The song. Say goodbye to everyone; it’s a bit late for that Gilligan.

PN: After such a bleak start to the episode, this song is providing some serious juxtaposition.

LQ: Oh, Marie. Speaking of rubbing salt in the wounds. She thinks she’s won; how wrong she is.

PN: Imagine if Walt just walks through the door. Marie would realise the awful truth about Hank immediately.

LQ: This is all about Marie feeling like she’s in control, right, etc. She’s a sociopath – so many “I”, “me” and “my”‘s in this little speech. Ergh.

Wow, Flynn. Walt’s losing everything in one foul swoop, Paddy.

PN: Oh, poor Jesse. Those Nazi’s have not only got him chained up in a pit, but they’ve really gone to work on him. He’s absolutely terrified of Todd, and I reckon Todd did a fair amount of the torturing.

Not cool. Not cool at all.

LQ: And, if that wasn’t enough, he’s forced to cook for them now; while staring at a picture of Andrea and Brock. Man, these Nazi’s don’t play.

PN: I’m really feeling sorry for Walt Jr here. Skyler has known that Walt has been becoming evil, but this is the first Walt Jr has heard of it.

LQ: Especially considering the way Walt Jr’s love/worship of his Dad has been emphasised in the past couple of weeks. We knew this fall was coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Have some pancakes Flynn, feel better.

PN: “Put your seat belt on, it’s not safe” – Skyler

“You’re shitting me, right?” – Walt Jr

LQ: Brilliant.

PN: Wow, that was the first time Walt has gone all Heisenberg on his own son. He’s breaking new ground here.

Incredibly, Walt still believes that “everything will be alright.”

LQ: Skyler’s figured out how Walt gets out of those cuffs. Look at her eyes, completely and utterly broken.

YOU CALL THAT A KNIFE?

PN: Oh man. This is nuts.

 

LQ: Paddy, I can’t look. Who’s the knife going to end up in?

PN: Is this where Skyler dies?! Or Flynn? I can’t watch.

LQ: Walt screaming “we’re a family” shows how dillusional he is. He has no one and nothing anymore.

‘Cept that 11 mill in the truck, of course.

Walt, put the baby down. Walt. Come on.

PN: This is bad, Walt. I feel sick.

The episode isn’t even done yet.

LQ: That vision of him backing the car out the driveway was maniacal. Paddy, he can’t take Holly with him. This feels like one final moment of a life he’s soon to be abandoning.

The kiss goodbye.

PN: You can see Walt’s heart break.

He’s through trying to keep his family together.

LQ: “Bald head…goatee situation.”

This show always manages to make me laugh at the most inappropriate times.

OF COURSE THERE’S POLICE. WE ALL WATCHED LAW AND ORDER.

Walt, pls.

Again, his mocking voice – hysterical.

PN: Walt is putting the blame for all of this on Skyler. No, Walt. This is your fault. All of it.

LQ: This seems like an act. He’s crying before spitting vitriolic rage down the cell phone. Or maybe Walt doesn’t know who he is anymore.

Oh, come on. Don’t rub killing Hank in there faces.

PN: I agree. He’s trying to compose himself before he speaks and makes threats. There is something else going on here.

LQ: In the past, you’d have felt sympathy towards Walt, teary-eyed, destroying the flip phone. Not anymore.

Phew, he’s leaving Holly.

PN: “I’ve still got things left to do.”

Well, that sounds ominous.

LQ: Here comes Saul’s guy. We’re getting so close now, Paddy. Walter White is gone. I don’t know how they can top this.

PN: And just like that, one of the best episodes of television I’ve ever seen comes to an end.

LQ: Only two left. We’ll cry next week.

 

Liam QuinnTHUMBLiam Quinn is a third year Bachelor of Journalism student at La Trobe University, and the politics editor of upstart. You can follow him on Twitter @Quinn_LP.

Paddy NaughtinTHUMBPaddy Naughtin is upstart’s sport editor, and a third year Bachelor of Journalism student at La Trobe University. You can follow him on Twitter @PaddyNaughtin.

(Picture: Twitter  – @BreakingBad_AMC)